Pretty on Purpose
by Jacqueline Fletcher
Catharsis | A Mask in Neon
This painting holds a lot of weight for me. At a time of deep despair, I picked up a brush and made a decision: if I couldn’t feel happy, I’d try to paint it. With a background in psychology and interior architecture, I’ve long understood how colour and environment shape mood. So I chose dopamine pinks, electric greens, and joyful florals to trick my brain into smiling again.
But underneath the brightness, everything was falling apart. Two of my autistic children were suffering in schools that failed them; one bullied for being different while staff looked away, the other emotionally abused by a teacher who repeatedly and deliberately denied him inclusion. I fought for them to be treated like any other deserving child and was then vilified for standing up to everyone complicit in their mistreatment. Their siblings were sidelined. And through it all, I pretended to be the happy, fun, energetic mother I knew they needed.
This painting is the performance. It’s cheerful on the surface, but if you look closely, the colours are weeping. Every flower is melting. Because I was too.
Learn More: The Fight Behind the Brushstrokes
Pretty on Purpose looks cheerful...
This work came as a result of some pretty severe darkness. Two of my autistic sons were being failed daily by the very people and institutions meant to support them. Even though I was already at break point, I had to pick myself up and fight (hard) for them because no one else would. And as a result, I was vilified by the school, the teachers, and all the other parents I hade to wave and smile politely to every day.
My family was slowly falling apart behind the scenes, but no one bothered to check in- even when they had to know I was struggling. Why? Because, turns out, not being ok is not ok. It makes people feel uncomfortable. So we slap on a smile and we carry on, no matter the cost. Wouldn't want to make anyone else feel bad, would we. Keep calm, carry on... right?
This isn’t just my story. It’s everywhere. For some of us, the burden is so great we just can't carry it all on our own. Being creative can help ease the mind, but so is getting angry and standing up for what you believe in.
The UK’s special needs education system is broken. Thousands of children are left without the right support, while parents are forced into legal battles and burnout just to access basic rights. Carers are drowning in paperwork, in exhaustion, in silence. We lose jobs, sleep, health, and hope. And when we ask for help, we’re met with indifference.
Pretty on Purpose is what happens when you’re forced to smile through despair. It’s the bright mask we wear while everything underneath is melting. It's pretty, sure.... but it's not ok.
The UK’s Crisis in Special Needs Education
The SEND system is in crisis. Thousands of children are left without the right school, denied EHCPs, or stuck on endless waiting lists. Councils are overwhelmed, delays are unlawful, and families are forced into exhausting legal battles just to access basic support. This isn’t rare. It’s happening everywhere, and (sorry) it’s only getting worse.
The Emotional and Financial Toll of Carer Burnout
Caring for a disabled or neurodivergent child is a full-time job) with no pay, no breaks, and little support. Carers, especially mothers, often lose careers, health, and community just to keep their children safe. The toll is relentless: exhaustion, grief, and financial hardship. Burnout isn’t just a buzzword, it’s real and we feel it. Far too many of us are barely holding on.
Why So Many Families Are Pushed to the Edge Just to Be Heard
Families of disabled children are forced to fight for every basic right. To get support, we must chase paperwork, relive trauma, and prove our child’s needs again and again often while being ignored or dismissed. Many are pushed to breaking point just trying to be believed. The system isn't broken by accident. It's built this way.